With these four words, I set the foundation for an unproductive web-design class. I never uttered them aloud. I only thought them. And that’s all it took to believe it.
I proceeded to struggle through 2.5 hours of a class on using CSS to center a red box and felt stupid for not remembering what in-line vs. block was.
Every 10 minutes or so, our instructor would ask the class of four if we needed anything else explained. I’d just check to see if my phone was still charging, take a swig of my ginger ale that I wished was something a little stronger, or stare out the window into the night waiting for 9pm to come.
Eventually he noticed that I was the only student not speaking. (I’m also the only one who isn’t somewhat familiar with learning new tech-related skills.) They might as well have been speaking Klingon; but they’d totally be the nice Klingons, with their hipster glasses and sleek Macs while I’m still hoisting a dusty 5lb Toshiba.
Anyways, so I’m sitting there waiting for this non-intentional roasting to be over. Listing all the reasons why I should stick to doodling and wondering why I ever thought I could become a designer. And then it hit me: I’ve done this before. I left my feelings tell me that I am an imposter and look for confirmation in signs like my laptop freezing, or getting locked out of the building for 4 minutes.
Then, while flipping through my phone in an attempt to pretend I have more important things to do because I don’t understand some joke about SQL, I come across a quote on my wallpaper. It reads, “If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.” (Elon Musk)
Then and there, I decided I wasn’t going to allow something as trivial as a 5lb Toshiba, being a former English major, and not being a proper hipster to get in my way. Two days later, I met with my instructor at a coffee shop while on my lunch break.
I say all of this to encourage any “imposters” in the TTS classes. Stay curious, stay hungry, and don’t take shit–even/especially it’s from yourself. Impossible is the minimum.